“You have suffered an epidural haematoma. You spent 13 days in trauma ICU and then step down. You have to get a craniotomy in order to remove the haematoma! You have tubes draining the brain matter coming out of your head. You were life flighted! We had to tell you goodbye because the hospital advised us you wouldn’t make it…..”

These are just some of the things I heard. I have no memory of the accident itself and in a sense it is a blessing. What my family had to go through this time I was in the hospital is very trying. I have no idea it was physically possible for them to have the strength they did to get by. I know I couldn’t have held it together like they did.

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So my story starts out like this: I fell down the basement stairs.

It was the middle of the night and my daughter’s third birthday party was happening the next day. I had laundry in the washer that needed to be put into the dryer. Easy enough task right? Due to having no memory, I am not exactly sure what went wrong.

I was told that in the early morning hours of April 23rd, 2016 my German Shepherd went into my bedroom and kept flipping my husbands arms around trying to get his attention. He noticed that I was not in bed and the turned his head to watch my dog run as fast as she good towards our open basement down and shot down the stairs. My husband then shot out of bed and came to the top of the basement stairs only to see what resembled a murder scene. There was enough blood pooled at the bottom of the stairs to fill what seemed like a few gallon milk jugs. He scooped me up and called family then him and his dad rushed me to the local ER (I have no recollection of this.) I was talking fine one minute then all the sudden I was slurring. My family was told to say their goodbyes because I probably wouldn’t survive. My family, including my kids watched me be loaded into a life flight helicopter to transport me to a trauma unit down in Ohio. They were not able to ride with me because there were already too many people on board trying to save my life.

I spent about 13 days down in trauma ICU then went to a step down. I was told I suffered a traumatic brain injury. I had an epidural haematoma. A craniotomy had to be performed in order to remove the haematoma. I had drains coming out of my head removing blood and brain matter. I also had numerous skull fractures to the left side of my head.

I really do not have any more details then that. A part of my really does not want to even relive anything to do with my accident. It was told the best option for recovery is not to talk about the accident. So I haven’t.

I have noticed now that I am filled with so much unexplained rage. I am riding this emotional roller coaster. One that is so lonely. It seems most days I am the only person on this ride. I hate the way I feel. I often wonder do things ever get better from here? I guess time will tell. Hopefully they do.